Being Offline Is A Form of Resistance; Being Chronically Online Is not a Flex

I used to view being chronically online as some kind of low-key flex. I took it to mean that I'm constantly tuned in, up-to-date, and can get that reference.

That TikTok video you watched? Yeah, I saw it too. It was hilarious for ten seconds. 

That book marketing trend? Yeah, I'm on in, already making the graphics on Canva. 

That celebrity news, meme, viral trend, latest drama in the publishing industry, commencement speaker who got booed off stage for gloating about an AI-led future, what Timothée Chalamet said about the ballet, that time when Zhang Linghe’s fans swarmed Song Weilong’s Weibo account to cyberbully him and his family, that recent online spat between Dylan Wang and his ex-costar Shen Yue, etc etc. I can give you a blow-by-blow because I've been following the discussions, the comment threads, and more.

But since late last year, I've taken a big step away from social media—mainly, Instagram, which I felt had been a big drain on my attention and mental health. I went from posting multiple stories every day to maybe one story a week, then one in a month. I halved my time spent in TikTok and curated my feed to only show me stuff that uplift my mood and not doom-and-gloom or ranting videos. Likewise for Threads. The only app I'm less disciplined about is xiaohongshu (Rednote), because that's my main source of Song Weilong news and a girl's gotta find joy where she can. 🌝 

(Speaking of which, HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE LATEST TEASER TRAILER FOR LOVE FOR YOU?! More on that later, or sign up for my newsletter for more yapping.)

The effects of not being chronically online are dramatic. I'm free of the comparison trap when I'm not all up in everyone's business on IG. I no longer feel the urgency to write faster, jump on this marketing trend, appeal for eyeballs, check my stats, or worry about posting too much that people get tired of me or too little that people forget I write books. 

Because at the end of it all, what are the benefits of knowing what everyone is up to, or measuring myself against their efforts and their achievements, of chasing numbers and being on top of every trend? Does it make me a happier person or a better writer? No. 

What actually does make me happy is retreating into my cosy bubble, getting lost in an immersive book, writing books (however long the process takes), watching dramas and getting excited over Song Weilong’s latest brand endorsement photos/offline events/drama (our boy is booked and busy lately), spending time with my friends and family, staying hydrated, and getting enough sunshine, exercise, and sleep.

I feel much less anxious as long as I tell myself that I always have time, and the point of it all is the journey, not the destination. That I am exactly where I'm meant to be, doing exactly what I'm meant to do (be it working or resting). That being constantly plugged in is a habit that capitalism has ingrained in me, and I don't have to bow down to it. I can just be a human being, not a human doing.

I'm actively eschewing the notion that I only have value when I'm being productive, that I need to constantly keep up in the rat race (whatever that is) to be worth something. And practically, that looks like staying in my own lane, blocking out unnecessary noise, protecting my peace, clearing my mental clutter, consuming only things (books, essays, long-form videos, podcasts) that benefit my brain and mood, and slowing down.

I wouldn't say that I'm completely off socials—mainly just IG, because it's become an app where people lurk but hardly engage and that voyeuristic vibe is weird, and also because the app only shows your posts to a tiny fraction of your audience so that you'll pay the app money to boost your posts. Meta is truly the pits these days. But getting off IG is a start in becoming more intentional with my attention. 

(I wrote a piece on whether YA fiction has a place in the attention economy, if you'd like to read it.)

In part, I was inspired by Song Weilong to talk less and do more, to find time to live in between working, and to stay focused on what matters (the work) instead of chasing relevance. He is known to go off the grid as long as he doesn't have a new drama to promote or brand endorsement activities to attend. He separates his public and personal lives very clearly, and doesn't attend unnecessary events or go on variety shows just to stay on top of everyone's minds. He stays focused on acting and making dramas, and only does the occasional livestream to interact with the fans (literally only couple of times a year). Yet, every time he reappears, he surprises everyone with how much he's improved (and of course, his good looks.)

This year has flown by in a whirl, mainly because I've been working on my dystopian fantasy manuscript after dipping my feet into querying waters in the middle of last year. This book is asking more out of me than I anticipated, and I am actually, masochistically, kind of enjoying that. I like that it's challenging me and stretching me and making me try things I've never done before. It feels new and exciting even though I'm on draft FIVE and I've rewritten basically 90 percent of draft 4. 🫠 But it's getting into good shape, and I'm prouder and happier with it with every rewrite. Truly, this is not a process you can hurry through, and definitely NOT a process AI can replace. Writing each book teaches me new things and the process is not something I would ever hand over to an AI bot.

Anyway, all this to say, even though I'm more offline now, I'm having more fun than ever, discovering stories, living life, and creating experiences outside from the digital world that mean more to me without having to worry about satisfying some capricious algorithm.

In this day and age where money flows where attention goes, our money is currently flowing to the Big Tech billionaire bros whose intention is to make us so dependent on their products/apps/tools that we'll willingly shell out money to keep using them in the future. 

By staying offline as much as possible, by rebuilding our attention span (which has been eroded over the years by bite-size short-form content), by discovering new hobbies and interests beyond our screens, we can slowly take our power back and curate a life that matters more than being on top of the latest social media trend or amassing disengaged followers. 

Q. Are you chronically online? Are you actively resisting and re-curating your life? I'd love to know your thoughts and personal experiences.

Lastly, if you'd like sporadic updates on what I've been reading/watching/doing plus future book news, you can sign up for my mailing list in the pop-up box on my website for free. (Promise I hardly ever spam.)

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Okay, Love For You, the upcoming contemporary romance C-drama starring Song Weilong and Zhang Jingyi adapted from the book Wild Dog Bones. THE TRAILER DROPPED THIS WEEK AND I AM NOT OKAY. This drama is going to CONSUME me when it airs in July and I'm READY FOR IT. I read the book in anticipation of it, picturing SWL and ZJY the whole time and it was ❤️‍🔥🤌 

Honestly, the ML’s personality was trash in the book and I'm not a fan of red flag MLs at all. In fact, SWL initially turned down the role many times because of how trash the ML was. It only after he and the screenwriters made lots of adjustments to the role that he decided to accept it. The script is now available, but I haven't read it yet because I want to be surprised by the drama. 

AND THE TRAILER: https://www.instagram.com/reels/DY6Jb0WKcFg/

I had to hold in my scream when I watched it on my commute to work!

Are you looking forward to this drama? Because you should. If you liked Speed and Love, Lighter and Princess, and First Frost, and if you want to see a hot and feral Song Weilong (after his gentlemanly role as Lin Yusen in Shine On Me), add Love For You to your watchlist because I promise you will not be disappointed!